By Valentine’s Day is here! For some, this is a happily anticipated day as one may look forward to intentionally recognizing and celebrating their romantic love with another. If that’s you, great! For others, Valentine’s Day may feel neutral – simply another day that will come and go. While for others, it may feel like a sore reminder of not having a desired relationship in your life. No matter how this day lands with you, you are not alone.
Regardless of your relationship status on Valentine’s Day, we can celebrate a relationship that is here now and will remain: the relationship with ourselves. Whether you are married, coupled, single – the relationship that we have with ourselves is here to stay so why not treat it right? Valentine’s Day can be a day of celebrating yourself, all that you do, and showing yourself some love!
Can We buy Ourselves flowers to celebrate self-love? Yes we Can. And maybe We should!
In the spirit of self-love, here are some holistic ideas about how we may approach Valentine’s Day: 
Mindset
Before we buy ourselves flowers, let’s check-in with the mind because what we tell ourselves can make a significant difference. For example, one study compared two groups of females who were employed as hotel room attendants. Females in one group were told that the work they did at the hotel was “good exercise,” while females in the other group were not given that information. Results of the study showed that women who were told that their work was “good exercise” lost more weight and experienced greater reductions in blood pressure and body-fat percentage when compared to the women who were not told that their work was good exercise (Crum & Langer, 2007).
What is your mindset about your relationship status? Does it feel permanent? Perhaps you tell yourself “you’ll be happy when….” Are thoughts critical or judgmental?
Depending on your mindset, maybe there is room for a shift. For example, could dating be seen as an adventure? Could a stressor within your relationship be seen as an opportunity for growth? Maybe recognizing all that you do for yourself is empowering? Perhaps using a warm and kind tone with yourself could go a long way.
The mindset that we have about some circumstances can potentially influence how we relate to and experience that circumstance.
Nurture Yourself
What would a self-love day be without some self-care? You likely do a lot for yourself – you could be showing up each day as a parent, employee, friend, partner, business owner, caretaker, you name it – and you’re probably showing up to more than two or three of these roles throughout a typical day.
How do you show yourself that you are loved, just as you show love to others?
What leaves you feeling physically, emotionally, and spiritually recharged?
Some ideas could be:
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Making (or ordering) your favorite meal
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Guilt-free rest
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Break away to be in nature
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Digital detox
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Try something new and exciting
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Buy yourself those flowers!
Share Your Love
We can engender the good feelings of love by sharing love. Love comes in many forms beyond romantic love and those can be rich resources. We can give and receive love to parents, friends, family, strangers, and our community, for example.
On this Valentine’s Day, you may share love with others. Some ideas include:
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Coffee date with a friend
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Overdue catch-up with a dear person
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Volunteering
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A small act of kindness
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Offering a listening ear
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Sharing your happiness through smiles
Today is a small snapshot in time. If you could fly above this moment in time to see a full perspective of your life – the many chapters that came before, the current time, and all that we hope is still to come – we could see how vast and constant change is.
No matter what this Valentine’s Day Brings, a broadened Perspective can give us the wisdom to know that things will change and there is opportunity for gratitude in today. 
Let’s Grow
If you would like to learn more about how to create the you desire, including a compassionate relationship with yourself, reach out for a free 15-minute informational consultation. I want to support my clients on their journey toward greater self-love and fulfilling relationships.
Disclaimer: Please note that visiting this website does not constitute a doctor-client therapeutic relationship. The information and resources included or linked on this website are for informational purposes only and are not intended to assess, diagnose, or treat any medical and/or mental health disease or condition. The information obtained from this site should not be considered a substitute for a thorough medical and/or mental health evaluation by an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional. We do not know the specifics of your situation or have the facts to provide this type of evaluation and recommend that you seek an appropriately credentialed and licensed professional to establish a doctor-client therapeutic relationship. This website also includes links to other websites for informational and reference purposes only. This website does not endorse, warrant or guarantee the products, services or information described or offered at these other websites.
Reference:
Crum, A. J., & Langer, E. J. (2007). Mind-set matters: Exercise and the placebo effect. Psychological Science, 18, 165-171.
