By You said what was on your mind, told someone how you really felt and now you feel guilty. Or maybe you didn’t show up for something that was really important. At first it didn’t seem like such a big deal but now you are recognizing, it was! Now you feel like the bad guy. When guilt sits in the body it can make you feel heavy, tired and even depressed.
Yet, what if there was a new way to look at guilt, which could help you transform this heavy, at times toxic emotion into a lighter experience, would you be interested in giving it a whirl? Healing guilt and letting go of regrets can be accomplished with an .
The suggests looking at the emotion of guilt as a reaction. Emotions are energy in motion. Since guilt is a heavier dense emotion with very little to no inner movement it doesn’t really make sense to lump it under the emotion category—instead, consider reframing guilt as a reaction.
What is a Reaction?
A reaction is anytime you try to make the uncomfortable comfortable. This can happen in a number of ways, anything from looking at your phone (avoidance) or staying busy (distractibility). You can also manage what you feel by choosing to ruminate on guilt. One way this happens is by running narratives and stories in your head such as, I feel so bad, I wish I would have something different, I really messed up or I should know better.
When it comes to detoxing guilt, these are some of the narratives and statements you will be detoxing so you can release the burden and heaviness of carrying guilt around.
How to Heal Guilt
The key to healing guilt or detoxing guilt is not to focus on the emotion itself but rather the reactions supporting the non-movement of this emotion. Think of reactions as a traffic jam. You can’t really move until the surrounding cars around you move first. Rather than cars you will be moving beliefs, mindsets, stories and self-sabotaging habits.
While that may seem like a huge task it can be much easier than you think. Once you become aware you are running a thought which supports the manifestation of guilt, your job is to notice and then choose to release these reactions from your mind and body. If you are not sure how to do that, consider getting to know the steps of an Emotional Detox, represented by the acronym (a Cleanse is the “how” of emotional detoxing).
Free Will
What makes detoxing guilt, shame or any other reaction possible is your own free will to choose it. Someone can give you a million tools and techniques yet without your own personal freewill you may find yourself frustrated with the process. Think of it like going to a therapist and not really having a strong rapport or trust with that person. It will likely limit your healing and growth. On the other hand, if there is a strong rapport or trust with that person your chances of healing and transforming increase.
When it comes to healing and detoxing guilt, you will have to build this trust and rapport with yourself. Without it, this will influence your ability to choose differently. While it may seem like guilt has a mind of its own, learning to trust yourself will help you identify the moments when you do have free will of whether to believe those negative (guilty) thoughts or set them free.
Cultivate Freedom
One way to cultivate trust and freedom is to practice the very first step of Cleanse: Clear reactivity. The provides you with dozens of ways to clear reactivity from your body. Each one is mindful in nature, takes less than a minute and is designed to tone your vagus nerve. Your vagus nerve is the longest nerve in your body which influences your flight, fight and fear response.
When you choose to tone the vagus nerve on a regular (daily) basis you are cultivating a sense of safety and trust in your body. Here are 3 ways to do that:
Stretch
Stretch your body on a regular basis. Simple stretches such as reaching your arms overhead, moving your waist side to side will do. When you stretch your body you are sending a signal to your body that it is safe to soften and release.
Gargle
The vagus nerve passes through the throat. When you gargle with salt water or mouth wash this sends a vibration to the nerve helping it to tone. When done on a regular (daily) basis this can help send calming signals to your nervous system.
Visualization
Imagine releasing and transforming guilt (as a reaction) and all the stories attached to it through calming releasing images such as the ocean tide, a light breeze, soft rain or open field. Remember choosing to imagine something new is a way to exercise your free will choice.
It is not bad or wrong to feel guilty, yet like anything else in life, when you overindulge it can become addictive. You can disempower and heal guilt by treating it like a reaction more than an emotion.
